School Day Memory: The Boy With Bugs In His Hair

Woodland Elementary School, Kansas City, Missouri...circa, 1985?

If you went there, fine...if you didn't, more power to ya.

By the time I reached Woodland, the second time...it was a dilapidated, gravy-soppin, no-account mother fucker. A lot of the windows were broken out, a lot of the auditorium seats were busted...it smelled like urine, and was just generally not a good place to be. I think I did 3 years total there...maybe 4. I make it sound like prison time.

I didn't have a lot of friends there...the ones I did have, I don't recall having prior to going there. So I must have met them all there. The kid in questions name was Troy [last name not important]...not one of my closest friends, not even really a friend. More or less a fellow I shared class with, I didn't dislike him...just didn't connect. I recall that he loved ALF...ugh...

On the day of the occurance, we were all outside...playing on the side playground, were there was a huge pile of debris. Rotten boards with rusty nails in them, old pipes, liquor bottles and shit. This was our jungle jim.  

Troy is running around, like we all were...jumping off the pile...screaming things like "Pee-Wee!", "Star Wars!", "School Is Fun!"...like all kids do.

This mutha comes up and grabs me...and I look at him, at his head...the fucking lice bugs were so thick in his hair...that it looked like snow. I said "Dude?!"...yes, I talked like this...even in elementary school.

"What's up with your hair man?"  I recall I was wearing a captains hat that day...WHY?!...I dunno. My mother use to dress me in dress shirts with little sweater vests, like some kind of 10 year old accountant. It was more like "An everyone thinks your a dipshit, and will have no girls" outfit.   

He responds..."What, oh...that's dandriff."

I said..."Like hell it is man, that shit is moving."

He said..."No, it's dandriff." As he started chasing me.

I said something to the effect of..."Go away, or get away from me!" Which, I am sure seems dicky, but this kid was out here playing wrassly grab-ass with everyone...one fucking parasite away from mass contamination. Eggs were literally falling off onto his shoulders. I wanted to keep my lice free record...and have managed to do so ever since.

If I had a six foot tapeworm hangin' out of my ass, I wouldn't lie and tell you it was silly-string and the parties about to start. I'd say, "Oh yeah, I gottsa little problem back there with a taper...you might wanna steer on clear of that."  

This guy was gonna infect everyone, all of his classroom peers and possibly staff. 

Later on down a piece, after he had his head shaved. He started talking to me about Kansas City Youth for Christ...it's a local thing, or was then, and Rev. Robert Tilton, and how he liked Robert Tilton's hair. I ignored him...I couldn't give a shit about either.

Tiltons a crook, and a fraud...but at least he had no vermin in his doo.

Our paths went different ways...mine went to far more groovey happenings. His, I don't really give a shit...Melmac?...maybe...